My First Love
Dr Maung Maung Nyo
I met a Shan girl in Monywa first
When I was studying in 7th standard
She was not from our class of last year
She transferred from Upper Burma, somewhere
But, she was to study with us this year
She was introduced by our class teacher
He said, “You must welcome her here,
She is sweet, smart, Shan and sincere!”
( Beautiful Blooming Cherry Blossoms)
True, she was sweet and friendly
Her name was Cherry or Nang Kham Yi
She sat on the bench just in front of me
So, we became good friends easily
She shared her Shan food with me
I answered her questions on daily lessons
She was not as good as I in education
Naturally, I had to give her free tuition.
(A Beautiful Shan Cherry Tree)
Our friendship did not progress further
I was only ten plus a few years rather
I did not have interest in opposite sex either
As I was reading for scholarship that year
Besides she was two or three year senior
If equally grownup I might have been bolder
But we had a fruitful year to be clear
We both passed as we intended for our future.
(A Shan State Scene)
During summer, she left for Kalaw Taunggyi
I was teaching English to my brothers busy
Then, I left for Mandalay in June early
Before she came back from Taunggyi
I did not have chance to say good bye if any
I of course wrote to her from Mandalay
She did reply once, but none more so any way
Oh, our story ended that way and stayed stale.
(Pindaya, Southern Shan State, Burma )
I forgot about her as we were never lovers
Maybe it was just my infatuation with her
So, I had no communication in person or by letter
In the mean time, I had been attending classes ever
Moving from Mandalay to Rangoon, then back to Mandalay
I never had time to go back to Monywa for the good old days.
(Inlay Phaungdaw-U Pagoda Procession)
After years of hard work and training in service
I became gradually mature in theory and practice
I had been a student leader and activist
But, I never had a girl friend for relationship
Often she appeared in my imagination
Yet, I never had written to her or her to me
We were just having a life quite platonic and empty
Burmese are secretive of their love to be declared publicly
Then, I passed my final year MBBS completely
I had to train at DSGH and No. 2 Military Hospital briefly.
Next, I was posted to BMH Maymyo as a doctor
I treated so many soldiers, cadets and officers
One cadet from DSA was treated for a Colles’ fracture
He became very friendly and we talked about each other
He showed me the photo of his lover among others
She was none other than my friend from Monywa
I felt sad, but I wished for their happiness
Yes, their marriage was a success, I heard later.
(Map of Shan State Showing the Situation of Mong Ton)
In the mean time, I had been posted to Mong Ton
I was general medical officer of army hospital alone
One night I had to treat a patient for an emergency bleeding
She was unconscious and bleeding, I knew it was she by intuition
Army chart confirmed it as her husband was in frontline fighting
I treated her with devotion even giving my blood for transfusion
But, she died any way as it was a late ectopic gestation
I could not forgive my self as her husband also died for the nation
I still remember them from time to time on occasions
My wife often teased me she was my first love in imagination!
(A Shan Girl on Oxcart in a Village)
It’s true that she always appears in my dream
She casts a mark on my heart on thinking
But, I have never uttered a word of love to her
Nor she spoken of such words to me either
Still, I miss her and cannot forgive myself ever
“Why could not I save her for the sake of her?
She and her husband died without uttering a word to me
They did not know that I was treating her earnestly
I had no other intention than to save her honestly;
Is life so cruel to all of us? ; I cannot excuse myself really!
Acknowledgment: I sincerely thank the copyright owners
of each photograph used. This is just an educational exercise.
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